Mar 31, 2006

Nevermind Aztlan, what about Jefferson?

Oh Michelle, you nut.

?Aztlan is a long-held notion among Mexico's intellectual elite and political class,? Malkin wrote in her column Wednesday, ?which asserts that the American southwest rightly belongs to Mexico. Advocates believe the reclamation (or reconquista) of Aztlan will occur through sheer demographic force. If the rallies across the country are any indication, reconquista is already complete.?

Neverming "losing" the southwest, think about what it would do to weed prices if the redwood belt were to declare independance.

See, Jefferson is Sometimes A Great Notion among intellectual stoners and political junkies, which assert that the Pacific Northwest rightly belongs to Gaea. Advocates believe the legalization (or decriminalia) of Jefferson will occur though sheer psychedelic inertia. If the drum circles across the country are any indication, decriminalia is already complere.



You are now entering Jefferson, the 49th State of the Union.
Jefferson is now in patriotic rebellion against the states of California and Oregon.
This State has seceded from California and Oregon this Thursday, November 27, 1941. Patriotic Jeffersonians intend to secede each Thursday until further notice.
For the next hundred miles as you drive along Highway 99, you are traveling parallel to the greatest copper belt in the far West, seventy-five miles west of here.
The United States government needs this vital mineral. But gross neglect by California and Oregon deprives us of necessary roads to bring out the copper ore.
If you don't believe this, drive down the Klamath River highway and see for yourself. Take your chains, shovel and dynamite.
Until California and Oregon build a road into the copper country, Jefferson, as a defense-minded State, will be forced to rebel each Thursday and act as a separate State.
State of Jefferson Citizens Committee
Temporary State Capital, Yreka


Every Thursday? Stoners.

Mar 28, 2006

Get your Tomorrow On

I just picked up GYWO and GYWO II, as well as the new full color Tom Tomorrow Tome. Good Work!

All three are highly reccomended light reading, but the TMW is simply a necessity. A sanity relief valve. My coffee table has tilted so far to the left it's a wonder no magazines have hit the floor.

Man accidentally divorces wife in sleep

March 28, 2006

NEW DELHI --Village elders ordered a Muslim man in eastern India to leave his wife after he accidentally divorced her in his sleep, a news report said Tuesday.

Aftab Ansari uttered the Urdu word for divorce, "talaq," three times in his sleep, prompting his worried wife to discuss the matter with her friends, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.

Under Islamic law, a husband need only say "I divorce you" three times to secure a permanent end to his marriage.

Muslim leaders in the couple's village in West Bengal state found out and decreed that Ansari's unconscious utterances constituted a divorce, PTI reported.

But 30-year-old Ansari said he had no intention of leaving his wife of 11 years.

"I have not given talaq. When I uttered talaq three times I had taken medicines to help me sleep," he was quoted as saying in the report.

The religious leaders said that before remarrying, the couple would have to be apart for at least 100 days and that the wife, Sohela, would also have to spend a night with another man and then be divorced by him.

PTI reported that the couple has been ostracized because of their refusal to abide by the decision of the village leaders.

100 days and another man? No wonder the Pat Robertsons of the world hate these people.

Mar 27, 2006

I now understand what comment moderation is

and a big slap upside my head.

[UPDATE: and i've now disabled it, it's worse than word verification]

Mar 25, 2006

Science also provides allegorys

See, the link above,

(the "Quotation Marks", make this post NOT PLAGIARISM.)

"Once 314km up, the Hyshot III fell back to Earth, reaching speeds analysts hope will have topped Mach 7.6 (9,000km/h).

The scientists had just six seconds to monitor its performance before the £1m engine crashed into the ground."

It's good to be an anlyst

P.S. it's been a good week, your enemies have been crowding Bens beautiful mind.

Mar 24, 2006

Not a Clear Channel (link)

I guess there are still some things you can't say on the radio.

Mar 22, 2006

When when means you want more (link)

and you will like it!

wtf? This man just cannot leave well enough alone.

Artists are vaguely concerned about their legacy, and how thier work is seen. This man and Art parted ways, many many years ago.

Mar 21, 2006

10 bucks well spent

This guy is a pillar of your political belief system

Mar 15, 2006

Dueling Evil Twins (link)

Jennifer Black and Claude Allen, who each would have got away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids.

Online Credibility Protection Act

what is this about?

could it actually be about this ?

Mar 10, 2006

Alcohol is proof that god loves you, and wants you to be happy

i have a question.

I'm having a great day, got lots o'crap done, started SUPER early, finsihed at 3, even cleaned my car. Done at 3. on Friday!!!??


and i don't have to drive to the airport?? (not that I usually do)

so I went to the bar until 4:30. and have been drinking homeberw, and now it's 5:20

So, no tolerance left, and a good buzz on, I was wondering, what is it with me and seeking approval from women?

is this a mother thing?

your thoughts* are appreciated.

Go-ooo-ooo Beer! Go-ooo-ooo internet!

* and, since i'm drinking alone, discretion,

Mar 7, 2006

teh quiz

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4

Stock Arsenic Solution 1 fl oz.

(Practical Everyday Chemistry, Garden City Publishing company, NY, c. 1934)

It is a recipe for ant poison, the other ingredient is honey.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?

That book, open to page 18.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

probably Jeopardy

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.


5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?


6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

NPR that I left on in the kitchen, barely

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

an hour ago, I was watching my dog pinch a loaf.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Freedom Camp

9. What are you wearing?

Tan cords (fat), maroon button down, brown belt, low key brown steel toe boots.

10. Did you dream last night?

I'm always dreaming

11. When did you last laugh?

Heartily? while talking with the Board of Health agent a few towns over, around 1pm.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Horrible red print wallpaper. At 5 feet it dissolves into a perception of polka dots, but on inspection it's lines and flowers. busy.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

see 7, above

14. What do you think of this quiz?

see 7 above

15. What is the last film you saw?

"film" film? literally, through a projector? A film I made in college.

16. If you turned into a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

the world a coke

17. Tell me something about you that I don?t know.

I am named after saints and I used to drive a Volvo

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?

make people want to use their turn signals

19. Do you like to Dance?

formally, no, after a few, usually.

20. George Bush.

Your mother

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?


22. Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you call her?

off-limits, bub

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?


24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

would you like a cup of coffee?

25. 4 people who must also do this theme in their journal.

no, I stole it from teh, I'm letting it die.

Mar 6, 2006

I did not get canned

Seriously, I totally expected a very bad day to come of this, perhaps a pink slip.

To the bosses credit they saw where I was coming from, ate some crow, and gave me a few well selected compliments, then made a few more thoughtful complaints.

Thoughtful complaints are A O-K with me, Beinghuman and all. Passive aggressive and character complaints set me off.

This brings to a close the overwrought personal blogging.

Anyone want to see my backside?

Mar 5, 2006

my first work troubles

Got a new job about 6 months ago, great place.

Only trouble, one boss is a bit of a perfectionist and forgets that I also do some work for my other boss, and likes to add sudden deadlines just before other deadlines, then sits on work I got done early (to compensate for the growing deadline debacles) and regularly adds half-day projects to my schedule with no notice....

anyhow, I got a "I need to bring a few items to your attention" e-mail at the office today.. Sunday... the day i went in to finish work for a monday deadline that last minute work that was sat upon prevented my from spending 6 hours on on Friday. The e-mail was cc'd to the other boss (the quiet HR boss)

It included

An insinuation that i decided not to mail an overnight package at 4:55 on Friday PM (the post office is within sight of the office)... which is odd, since kmy exchanges with the postman are actually the highlights of my day (imagine cliff clavin, but actually cool)...that and the reality that package was sealed at 5:10.

Complaints about a late information package for a colleague, who will sit on it until the deadline anyhow, and will cause me to do 4 hours of work for a project that I could do in 5 if left entirely alone (and at a greater savings)

and some other BS.

basically my boss went home sick, i spent Friday from 7 until 1 doing a sudden death project that came uop a day before, adn from 1 until 5:15 doing work i could have done wednesday if my boss hadn't sat on it until friday at noon.

Nevermind the work i had scheduled for friday.

My pont. I let them have it with both barrels.

here is an excerpt.

I concede that errors are possible, and I am curious at to what they are. I rushed through the logs, but make no excuses for errors. That said, I am available by cell phone, which Company X pays for half of, 16 hours per day, 7days a week. I also have a remarkable memory for details. Call and ask next time. Seriously. If it is important enough to complain about, and is causing you a significant delay, then call me and I can even come to the office and straighten it out, or just answer your questions. Good chance I can un-cause the daly even faster. You rarely call with such questions and too often send e-mail after the fact.

I cannot tell I have made a miscue until you tell me, and if you want me to act, give me a chance to. Seriously, you tell me I screwed something up, I take it personally, and I want to fix it ASAP. It's who I am. CALL, or stop insiting I have a phone.

The other stuff:

I really enjoy working for you two, about 90% of the time. But that last 10% is a pissah'.

The way I see it: I am in your offices, on a Sunday, to write reports for your clients, to your standards. I like your offices, I like your clients, but your standards need a bit of a polish as regards expectations, and their not being met, and whose responsibility it is.
Since this sort of thing has come up once or twice, I feel I had best be very clear.

You are asking a little much of me lately, WAY too much if you intend to be a grumpy perfectionist about it simultaneously.

Both reports ~MIGHT~ have been done by 5, but XXXX asked me to return a call to ZZZZZ for you, which took 20 minutes sometime around 4, (during that conversation, three jobs came in, thus the hastily scrawled telephone message on your desk). And also that other rush rush job came in and walking the lender through that process was not exactly quick.
So, I ALMOST apologise for running out of time on Friday, but you were not here to do those things, and I stepped up for both of you and your clients.

In other words, this 5 o'clock thing is entirely, ENTIRELY, not my problem.

I do not have a time machine, I DO have two bosses, and your understanding of the situation is now, hopefully, closer to mine.


There are 8 to 10 hours in a workday, and by 5:40 Friday, when I left, I was at 10 hours with no lunch, The THIRD 10+ hour day THIS WEEK.

I'm not whining, I'm saying that the limits are pressed, my plate has been full, you know that, and there's not much room to ask more of me in any given day. I only have two hands. When short turn around Phase I projects come in on Wednesday in Town Q, and I HAVE TO inspect them ON FRIDAY, regardless of my other plans, well, THE OTHER WORK I had PLANNED (writing up Mr. YYYs Report) has to be rescheduled. --TO SUNDAY--

I have my limits, and if you are trying to find them, consider them found.
My limits lay at the intersection of unreasonable demands and uncompromising expectations.
You can not get both. I can meet one, or the other.
I am not an owner here: It is perfectly fine for you to rechedule something for yourself to a weekend day, because you own the place
but you did that to me this week. and I was fine with it,
and I generally will be.
until you add the griping and the insinuation that I could have done more and better.
LATELY, I cannot tell if you intend to continue to make me stand in that intersection, playing in traffic, I'm going to go home for now, and will be here tomorrow, at 9, to cheerfully complete Mr. YYYY's report, which I will personally hand deliver to ZZZ if need be.
If you wish to talk with me about this, I suggest we ALSO talk about just how well and USUALLY WITHOUT COMPAINT I handle the grenades that get thrown in my lap around here every other day.
I do hope to keep working for you both, and I do apologize if the logs were incomplete or incorrect in some way, or if my tone here was too much, but please take your frustrations out on someone else next time, preferably someone more responsible for them.

Think I'll get canned?

anyone want to start taking bets?

Mar 2, 2006

Genetic Engineering

or, how we stay supplied with fresh camel's, and/or their back's.

The camel back. It's a tortured metaphor at this point. And that was an appropriate sentence to utter, back when americans weren't torturers. Back then, using the word 'sentence' in a sentence did not remind me, as it sometimes does today, that more than a few americans have recently been denied their right to due process and some have literally served tortured sentences.

Back when our government (now with more moraliuty!) wasn't obcessed with being technically correct while willfully pressing forward toward the wrong side of right.

Oh, and lying.

So now there's this video. You really really should watch the whole thing. [via Crooks and Liars]

And then stop and think. ...

... Put your anger aside, it will do you no good.

Karl wants you to be angry. Karl wants you to throw that rock. do not throw that rock. lather, rinse, repeat.

we are generally unhappy about our leadership. We are on a lot of levels a sharply divided nation. I just like to know where my posse comitatus is at, with all those troops coming home soon and all. Really it's not W. It's the compnacy he keeps.

do not throw the rock.

My Answer? we should re-elect Jimmy Carter,